Well, another week done — and what can I say?

It started off quite quietly because my mental health hasn’t been great. That’s partly on me — I didn’t get out much over the weekend, and I messaged someone who I thought really mattered in my life. Turns out, I was wrong. Lesson learned, I suppose. You can’t expect everyone to forgive you just because you’ve got mental health challenges — and that’s okay. That’s on me.

So, to pick myself up, I went to Derby to do a gig for Jack — a new material night at The Bell at the Royal Stand. It felt good to get out and do a solid ten-minute set.

Now, these new material nights aren’t just about trying brand-new stuff every time. The way I see it, once you’ve built an hour’s worth of material, the trick is to fine-tune it — because not every joke will fit into a 20-minute set, and not every joke will land the same way in every room. Each audience is different, so having a flexible hour of material you can chop and change is gold.

I’ve been working on my dating jokes. I like them, but they need more toppers — and that’s what I worked on this week. So now I’m heading into my Saturday gig feeling stronger and more confident in my 20-minute set.

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Wednesday at Wellies Café – Leicester

Wednesday was a great day. We performed at Wellies Café in Leicester for the first time with Disabled Cants, and it was fantastic.

We had two of my favourite comedians perform — Gabby Rose and The Yorkshire Wife. Gabby opened the night, and she hasn’t opened for anyone before — but wow, I’m glad I picked her. She was perfect. She had the room in stitches, and it was brilliant seeing her do a 15-minute set. Hopefully it gave her the confidence to go out and do even more.

I wish Gabby could get on more bills, but it’s hard being a wheelchair user because not every comedy gig is accessible. That’s why me and Disabled Cants’ goal is to make sure every performance we do is accessible for everyone — even the punters.

Okay, we can’t afford BSL yet, but hopefully one day we can get there and pay someone like our good friend Sarah to do it. That’s a goal for the future — and we’re getting there slowly.

In the middle, we had the Wellies Café Poetry Group, and they were brilliant — funny, thoughtful, and engaging. I can’t wait to work with them again soon and hopefully bring them to Disabled Cants in Nottingham.

To top it off, The Yorkshire Wife closed the night, and it was amazing to see her do a longer set. I’m so proud of these girls for what they’ve achieved in their short time as comedians, and I’ll keep pushing them to get on more bills in the future.

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Finding Balance

I’ll be honest — I’m still struggling with my mental health. But writing these blogs helps me see how much I’m achieving, even when my head tells me otherwise.

And yeah, I wish I was with someone again. But do I really have time for a relationship right now? The truth is, no. I’m busy working, making new friends, and trying to figure out what I want out of life. Most importantly, I’m learning to love myself again.

That’s why I’m spending more time in the shed. My teapot birdhouses might not be selling fast, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about keeping my mind steady and my mental health in check — because without that, I can’t be the best Benny everyone knows.

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The Joy of Creating

This week, I also did two TikTok Lives and built a copy of a squirrel bench. It was such a joy to see how many people joined the live and kept watching. The woodwork I do isn’t perfect — but then again, do I really want to be perfect?

That’s been my issue in relationships too — I’ve tried to be someone I’m not. I need to start being me. My old saying still stands: If you don’t like what you see, go through another door, because I’m not interested.

I love my life. It’s not always easy, but look at what I’m achieving. Yes, I might need help from the government again — but that’s okay. I shouldn’t be ashamed of that. It’s not my fault I’ve got cerebral palsy and mental health struggles.

Okay, I shouldn’t use that as an excuse all the time, but it’s true — and it’s part of who I am.

So here’s my message to myself, and maybe to you too: listen to yourself and respect yourself, because you’re the only one who truly matters.

Some advice I’ve taken over the years has been great, but some has cost me hundreds of pounds on festivals that maybe me and Ingenious Fools shouldn’t have done. So next year, I’m setting a goal: I’m going to listen to me.

I’ll still take advice, but I don’t have to follow it. It’s time to focus on building the business, creating more, and being happy.

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The Moral of the Story

You never know what’s around the corner.

Get out, enjoy life, and if you’re a comedian — just have fun on stage. If you’ve got a strong ten-minute set, keep polishing it, but don’t give up on open mics. Even when you’re doing paid gigs, open mics keep you visible. If you disappear, people forget.

So keep showing up. Keep saying yes. Keep going.
And above all — listen to yourself and respect yourself.