This year started in a way that really summed up where I’m at right now.

New Year’s Eve wasn’t about parties for me. I spent it in my shed, live on TikTok, creating woodwork and artwork with people from all over the world. And not just for an hour — for five hours. Five hours of chatting, creating, laughing, and connecting with disabled and non-disabled people from Switzerland, Germany, the Czech Republic, the north of England, the south of England — all of us choosing to enjoy the night our own way.

And that felt right.

None of us wanted loud rooms or forced celebrations. We just wanted connection, creativity, and comfort. And that’s what I want more of this year — doing things my way, without burning myself out.

A couple of days later, on the 2nd of January, I headed to North Wales for a gig. It was a great night, run by Silky, with Eddie Brimson opening — a genuinely kind bloke off stage and gloriously grumpy on stage — and Lou Conran closing the night. I was in the middle, and the gig itself was a joy to be part of.

Normally, I would have stayed to watch the closer, but the snow was still bad, so after my set I made the decision to head home. I’m glad I did — because the M6 was shut, which meant I had to go over the hills into Derby.

It was frightening.

At one point, I honestly thought I might have to pull over and sleep in the car. And that taught me something important: you can be the best driver in the world, but weather doesn’t care. Sometimes confidence isn’t enough.

Looking back, I should have paid for a driver. I was paid well for that gig, and in future situations like that, I’m going to bite the bullet and do it. I could have stayed overnight, but being disabled means I need my own comforts — my own bed, my own bathroom, my own setup. That matters more than people realise.

I shared this in a disabled WhatsApp group, and the response was overwhelming. So many people — especially those with physical disabilities — said the same thing: we can drive, but sometimes our disabilities don’t let us drive safely. And the system doesn’t account for that.

The government talks about Access to Work, but it’s backwards. You’re expected to prove you’re working 16 hours or more before you get proper support — but without access, how are you meant to get the hours in the first place?

I’ve recently gone back onto ESA, and even that feels like jumping through hoops. More assessments. More boxes. More proving yourself. All I need is temporary support until the next bit of work comes in — not a lifetime safety net, just breathing space.

This is where disability networking really matters. And honestly, the disabled community is one of the strongest communities I know. We already help each other. We already share advice, lifts, knowledge, resources. The problem isn’t disabled people — it’s the systems around us that refuse to adapt.

I know I used to be angry about this stuff. I used to shout about it. But now I see both sides of the coin. I don’t want to rant — I want solutions. If the system actually listened to disabled people, we wouldn’t be seen as a drain. We’d be seen as contributors who just need the right support at the right time.

That’s why this year I’m pushing Blue Badge Bunch further into corporate work — not just for income, but to educate workplaces and help them understand how to properly employ and support disabled people.

I’m also learning that work doesn’t have to look the same as it does for everyone else. Longer TikTok Lives are slowly bringing in a bit of income — around $6 a live. It’s not loads, but it adds up. TikTok reminds me of those old homework jobs — the more fiddly stuff you do, the more you earn. And actually, gigging is the same. The more you do, the more people see you.

This year isn’t about chasing noise or pressure.
It’s about sustainability.

Doing work I love.
Earning what I can without breaking myself.
Making memories with friends, old and new.
And choosing comfort and connection over expectation.

I’m not slowing down.
I’m just moving at a pace that lets me keep going.

And that feels like the right way forward.