I wasn’t going to write this post.
But I think it’s more important to say something than to just ignore it.

I’m Benny Shakes.
I’ve got cerebral palsy.

And I’m not sorry.

I’m not sorry that I can’t work a nine-to-five.
I’m not sorry that I’m a gardener who loves to grow plants and help others.
I’m not sorry that I use my spare time to help other disabled people follow their dreams.

I’m not sorry that I’m disabled.
I’m not sorry that I’m a woodworker.
I’m not sorry that I’m a comedian.
I’m not sorry that I’m a children’s entertainer.

It wasn’t my fault I was born with cerebral palsy.

What I do feel sorry for is the people who think they know better about what I should be doing with my life.

Yes, it might frustrate you when I’m doing woodwork.
Yes, it might frustrate you when I carry a cup of tea and spill it.
Yes, it might frustrate you when I get in the way.

But I want to learn.
I’ve always wanted to learn.

I don’t need people telling me I can’t do things.
The world already does that 24/7.

And lately, I’ve had a few close friends — people I respect and look up to — judging me.

And I get it. I really do.

But sometimes you have to stop and think about what’s actually happening when you say those things. What it sounds like. What it does to someone.

Because from where I’m standing, it’s not helping — it’s just another voice telling me I shouldn’t try.

I also want to say something else, because this matters too.

I’ve always been honest in relationships. I’ve always told people from the start that I have mental health struggles. Sometimes I need space. Sometimes I push people away.

And I’m not sorry for that.

What I am sorry about is when people can’t accept that side of me. When they can’t understand that sometimes I need a break, not because I don’t care, but because I’m trying to keep myself steady.

I’m not sorry that I pushed you away if that’s what I needed at the time.
And I’m not sorry that we broke up.

Maybe we just weren’t the right fit. And that’s okay.

But don’t use me as an excuse to hide from your own problems.

And while we’re at it — I’m not sorry for how the world reacts to me either.

I’m not sorry that sometimes when we’re out in public, people stare or judge us. That’s life.
I’m not sorry if that made you feel awkward.

I’m not sorry that I take a stand on what I believe.
And I’m not sorry that I fight for everyone’s right to be respected in this world.

I forgive you.

I’m not going to judge you because you judge me.
I’m not going to put you down because you put me down.
I’m not going to ignore you because you treat me like I’ve got a disease.

And I’m not going to be horrible to you just because you think someone else could do the job better than me.

That’s fine.

But if that’s how you feel — don’t ask me.
Ask someone else.
Just don’t waste my time.

Because I’m here to work. I’m here to learn. I’m here to live my life.

And not everything is about you.

Listen to the people around you.
Disabled or not — everyone needs help sometimes.

And if you don’t want to listen, then step aside. Don’t block someone else who’s trying.

I will still respect people.
Even the ones who doubt me.
Even the ones who judge me.
Even the ones who call me names.

Because in a lot of ways, it’s not your fault.
It’s society. It’s what people are taught. It’s what they grow up seeing.

But that doesn’t mean I have to accept it quietly.

I’ve realised something as well.

I’m done trying to make other people proud of me.
Because you know what — I’m proud of myself.

And I’m not sorry it’s taken me 42 years to find my way in life.

I’m Benny.
I’ve got cerebral palsy.

Get used to it.

Because I’m not going anywhere.